I Need To Start.. Now.

Okay, so I'm sitting here on the internet when I have so many things that I need to do. I always do this, though. I tell myself that I'm not going to, and then I do it anyway. I really need to stop. I come home, I sit down, turn on the teevee/go on the internet, and just get stuck. Stuck. That's it. I'm stuck. I'm stuck in this place that I keep telling myself that I could get out of, but I never seem to be able to. I want to be productive and prove to myself that I can do things that I never thought I was strong enough to do before. I wanna be like those ppl that I look up to, and say, "Man, they're strong. They're so different from me. I wish I could do that. Do what I dream of."

I wanna lose 30, 40 pounds. Get in shape. Great-ass shape. I want to be strong. Both physically and emotionally. I wanna be able to kick butt in all aspects of my life. I want to be successful. I wanna join the Navy. I wanna build a career. Be smart. Be an activist. Be a politician. Be a teacher. Travel the world. Open a youth center. Be active in my community. Be involved. Show ppl that they are strong. That there is more to life. That they can do amazing things. I am a born leader. I know it. I feel it in my bones.

I feel like I haven't busted out of my shell yet. I think I have before, but then I just climbed right back in & it sealed on me. Now I'm in this shell. And no one sees what I can do. No one sees me. But I know my strength. I know my passion. I know that I can do amazing things. I am smart. And I can love like no other. I have a passion for ppl that can do big things. Now if my actions could only show this. I need to start getting up & putting myself into action. I am an amazing woman & I need to start acting like it.